Saturday, 20 December 2008

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

stick with it. there's a couple of genius cuts in there.

lots more fun at

also, this clip help me found out that speech from that luna-c track is from a 70s film called network. here's that speech in full. looks like a pretty good film...

Zombie Haiku

Need I say more?

Monday, 15 December 2008

Sunday, 7 December 2008

some historical facts about the garage scene...

and just in case it gets edited before you get to read it, here is the overview section at 07/12/08

DJ EZ (pronounced E-Zed) is a DJ from Tottenham, North London specialising in UK garage music. He is referred to as "London's Number One" within the UK garage scene.

His influences have come from up and coming young guns like Bonafide and Matty A. Both lyrical G's from LA & B-Town respectively. Ez learnt to mix through watching Matty A who would mix 3 decks with one hand and a blindfold whilst Bonafide is known for his wild antics with up to 23 decks at a time, mixing in up to 22 tunes at one time. The whole DJ / Mc scene was created by Matty A and Bone man in early 1986, when Matty A was born in LA. He soon joined forces with Bonafide to create the "look at us and you will be 6 feet deep crew" ever since, many wack Dj's / Mc's have been reported missing.

Monday, 1 December 2008

how i learned to stop worrying and love the death star

This is incredible. typical quote:

"Kubrick’s film presented a future of company men moving with assurance and clear intention toward a godlike minimalist object. Lucas, on the other hand, gave us a slapdash world of knuckleheads pursued by industrial-scale minimalists. Visually, Kubrick’s film is as seamless and smooth as the modernist authority it mirrored. Like the mid-century modernists, 2001 associated abstraction with the progressive ideals of the United Nations as embodied by its New York headquarters. Lucas, on the other hand, was a nonbeliever. Even the initially smooth and unitary form of the Death Star was shown, as the rebel fighters skimmed its surface, to be deeply fissured with an ever-diminishing body of structural fragments. These crenulated details suggested a depth and complexity to modern life that modernism’s pure geometries often obscured."

found on boing boing, which if you didn't know already, is the best blog on the internet (TM)

Update 2/12

I take it back.  I actually nicked this from Ken MacLeod's blog. For people other than Ben, Ken MacLeod is a science fiction author, who entertainingly sprinkles a lot of communist and anarcho-capitalist philosophy in his books. read 'em! the stone canal is excellent, as is the execution channel (a new one.  more of a techno-thriller than scifi)

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Monday, 24 November 2008

Chicken head tracking

So, you get about four of these chickens, strap a turntable to their heads, and you can listen to Vinyl on the road! Right?

Saturday, 15 November 2008

CGI in films...


from GraphJam.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

the ruff guide to intelligent jungle - appendix

Almost missed this:

Well, I had fun doing that.  Hope you've enjoyed some of this too.  There were loads that just missed out on this list.  Here are a few near misses, just so I can big up some of the key players that it would be a shame not to mention.  Also for some of the headz who knew all the above tunes, maybe there's something new down here :-)  Each of these artists has had several seriously good tunes (as have all of those above).  It's hard to pick one for each, but these are ones with special significance for me:
Atmosphere by DJ Phantasy on Liquid Wax 1992
Meditation by DJ Crystl on Dee Jay Recordings 1992
The Touch by Origin Unknown (Andy C) on Ram 1993
The Dark Stranger by Boogie Times Tribe on Suburban Base 1993
Follow your heart (part 2) by 4 Hero on Reinforced 1994
Piano Tune by Peshay on Good Looking 1995
Ram Radier by Klute on Certificate 18, 1995
The Cult by Source Direct on Metalheadz 1995

Sunday, 9 November 2008

The ruff guide to intelligent jungle part 2 - DJs

More from our mistery author...

Those were the tunes, then.  Hope you've enjoyed checking out further links and maybe found some surprises too :-)
But Drum n Bass was never just about the tunes.  What about the DJs?

Fabio, LTJ Bukem and Goldie playing classic oldskool intelligent on Radio1Extra Live from the Ministry of Sound 30/12/07

[A very big download, it's true;  i can't get the streaming to work, but maybe you can.]
I don't want to chat tunes.  Some of them I've already highlighted;  the vast majority of them were considered for inclusion in my guide and many were missed out solely because they only really work within the context of the mix -- Bukem in particular rinses some superb selection and maintains a fasinating groove, like he doesn't play oldskool as much as he should!  But I'd like to highlight how these 3 DJs represent different strands in the story.  Again, this isn't my favourite mix, far from it, but it does show how it all fits together.  Don't bother with the last half hour, what's it got to do with anything?  Is it maybe Fabio in the mix?  Well it's shit don't bother.

0 - 32 min  Fabio
Without any exageration, Fabio helped invent DnB/Jungle with porn smuggler Grooverider with their night Rage at Heaven providing the blueprint for the development of the scene as early as 91.  Don't be fooled by revisionist theories about Bristol or North London blah, Rage was playing the key hardcore breakbeat tunes months before the other rave nights, at least until Spectrum came on the scene, where certain producers overlooked by F+G tried to ply their dubplates.  But of these two heavyweights, twas always Fabio promoting the lighter, more soulful sound within the scene even whilst everyone was off their nuts on pills and it seemed as if there was no soul to be seen.  Fabio always found it.  Though i frequently dislike his mixing technique (in contrast to Grooverider's geniuslike ability to render two average tunes into one amazing moment, and make it last an hour!), props are due to Fabio for his ability to survey the mix and dancefloor in a way which never loses touch with the roots of the sound -- from Coleman Hawkins to the Detroit Techno of Kevin Reese Saunderson et al via King Tubby, Curtis Mayfield and Aretha Franklin.  Ironically, Fabio is one of the few people in the scene he literally created who realises where it came from!  And one of the only DnB DJs to show true unadulterated love for the Acid House explosion which created the initial conditions for DnB.  He never apologizes for the cheesiness or the stupid clothes, he always just smiles and says 'those were the days'.  This slightly detached peripheral vision is particularly demonstrable in that he is perhaps the only one who knows how to adopt jazz influences without vanishing up his arse and forgetting his love of football terraces (go Spurs!)
All of which means that it really is a crying shame he's never learned to mix properly, lol.  Feel free to skip until...

32 min -- 2hr 10 min LTJ Bukem
It's great to hear the great man playing oldskool!  I much prefer it :-)
LTJ Bukem, well... the most perfect of all DJs, he has continuously refined his approach to the mix, the sound system, the lights, the MCing, the venue, etc... controlling every aspect of his mixing environment to his exact specifications, he makes no mistakes.  And takes no risks.  By 2000 this had unfortunately removed much of the incentive to witness him live, since he is so zen in his concentration upon the dance of the ravers, he pays literally no heed to other aspects of rave culture -- the posse and crew big ups and sycophantic collaboration of other Premier Leaguers in Drum n Bass, the fucked up conversation in the bogs, the random skits and in-jokes, the Red Stripe crew bungling their way from the bar turning their heads at girls who should know better, Northern monkeys cracking jokes at the expense of pussy Southerners in freezing club queues, those moments of joy, romance and love, scenes of fright, chaos and hurt and everything in between.  And whilst the same criticism could occasionally be levelled at muso ravers like myself -- and my sometime autistic approach to raving which emphasises frequencies over having a large night with your mates -- well, the fact is I haven't my living out of it!  The Japanese tourists don't mind, he's every bit as astonishing as they were expecting.
But if anyone epitomised the snobbish element of Intelligent it was this boy called Danny and his cohorts / disciples.  And with some irony, it is Bukem who first expressed hate for the label 'intelligent', claiming that it unfairly implicates other sounds as being 'unintelligent'!  Well, what with his label 'good looking' and his tune/album/night which share the name 'logical progression', does he not imply that other stuff is ugly and illogical?  Poor ol bastard, needs to lighten up!
And if most researchers look at what happened to Intelligent, they tend to follow the paths above.  Indeed, as i hinted last time by using the word Jungle, the meaning of the expression 'Intelligent Drum n Bass' has become so dilute (like the music) as to merely mean 'atmospheric' Drum n Bass.  Even Wikipedia talks out of its arse, claiming that Artcore was the same thing, bollocks.  Basically it's people in Fabio and Bukem's shoes looking back and remixing the past to suit their current theories about the present.
Firstly the development of the liquid sound from Fabio via John B, trance mashers like Stakka and other stuff i know very little about -- essentially a club sound honed strictly no later than 2 am in West End and city centre venues with aftershave offering dudes in the bogs and folk on the prowl for a fuck.  I don't know much about this scene, although I was a frequent visitor to Swerve during the birth of liquid round 98, i never stayed to find out how this was propogated around the world.
Secondly, Bukem's path has already been outlined -- his logical progression eventually took him to a point of stasis where his career dodged any of the uncertainty of being a drum n bass dj.  And what was visceral, what was unthinking and unbalanced had no place.  But I say everything in moderation including moderation itself.  Actually it's nice to hear him play some oldskool, because for all my criticism, you have to hand it to him... he literally never makes a fucking mistake.
Oh, I forgot Goldie didn't I?  :-)

2 hr 13 min -- 3 hr 30 min  Goldie
You guys might have already got the gist that i think that the gold one is the one and only true genius of jungle.  I've highlighted aspects of Fabio's folly which make him a contender and aspects of Bukem's perfection that lead me to suspect he is actually a Reptilian;  but with Goldie, folly and foible and the wonderful are inextricably linked.  Sure his mixes are rarely good the whole way through.  Who cares?  He wrote the best Jungle album ever, ran the best Jungle club night ever, runs the best Jungle label ever and is also amazing at conducting Grieg!  His graff is pretty mindblowing too, and I've very little doubt that he was the best in Miami at making gold teeth back in the day when that was his living!  All those random things, the blackness, the whiteness, the restlessness and poise;  I'll happily forgive him 'stenders, the boy is possibly the most important musician since James Brown, no exageration.  This mix is typically flawed but the moments of genius more than make up for it.  I'll hold no truck for the theory that says he can't mix -- that's a bit like saying James Brown was crap at singing.
Talking of which... MCs...  Er not much to say, except they're never that good like Mr Brown.  Mostly because they're not conducting a group, i tend to find the whole thing just doesn't work.  In the Rave setting they have their place but they are rarely appropriate to Intelligent, which I guess was in some way a reaction against the rise of MC culture within the caucus of the Rave scene.  If you like rap, stick to hiphop.
What about Bukem's chosen sidekick Conrad, well listen to Logical Progression vol. 1, now you've got the idea that he ain't bad, well forget it, he's never been better that trust me.  Cleveland Watkiss, yes but it ain't jungle, file under Drum n Bass, Jazz, etc.  Em, er that leaves MC Justice, who I seem to remember from nights down Metalheadz, is sometimes the quietest/laziest of any MC.  Perhaps that's the best accolade I could give any MC, lol...
There are many other DJs but only one is worthy of mention with the company above...
... some one entirely dedicated to the mix and nothing else.  He's hardly produced any tunes, he's never promoted a night, his label Mac2, well it's not exactly famous.  That man is Randall.  And he's better than any of the above I can assure you.  Like Goldie he's more than happy to bring stuff into his set which might not be viewed as Intelligent, until he mixes it with his attitude.  He is nearly as 'perfect' at mixing as Bukem and certainly more exciting.  You'd best do your own research, use google, use torrent searches, whatever.  As long as you stick to 92 -- 96 inclusive I'm fairly sure you will be unable to find a less than amazing set, good luck!
Bye bye have a fun weekend

The ruff guide to intelligent jungle

All of this is nicked from a friend, who shall remain uncredited for now (no doubt those in the know will figure out who), just reposting it here so that I can share it with the literally units of people who read the blog ;)


"Anyhow's here you can pick and choose...  It's all quite arbitrary;  no doubt i've forgotten some obvious lines of enquiry, oversimplified the story and generally biased my account with ignorance, but hey, i'm not that bothered.  It's only supposed to be fun.  So here is...

Just to prove that i'm not only about oldskool (lol), here is the tune which inspires this guide:
Colemanism by Fracture and Neptune on Vibez 2006
This has been on repeat round at mine pretty much solidly for two days :-)

These guys have restored my faith in jungle.  About time, too.

Now, onto the massive guide, massive...

"Jazz Jungle"?  There certainly is a connection with Jazz, though it may be closer to Thelonious Monk and Art Blakey than some cheese like Stan Getz.  Jazz was about pushing things forward.  I hate that stuff that pops a sax in the mix, hoping to invoke the gods of Bebop;  utter bullshit.
So I make only slight apologies that most of this stuff is a little ruffer than some people's ideas about so called 'intelligent'.  It's all good for 'sit-down' listening, yes, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be ravey.  I mean, its supposed to be played on massive speakers!
So:  no bullshit crappy sounds fender rhodes nice pads oooh missie i do like your tinkly modulation does sound just ok on my whiney little TV ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

This stuff is intelligent and was called such at the time.  But it is also all jungle.
... That having been said, I'll start with something 'nice'....

"Drum n Bass 2000 by Squarepusher" on ???? 2000 ????
Controversy surrounding this track (which was rare, ie non existent imo.  If we're honest it was 'released' by Napster.  My guess is that it is by Squarepusher, the bass tone about 6 minutes in sounds like his and that's an unusual sound in DnB.  I've got a feeling it's actually a processed live bass, layered with some sinewave stuff, which supports my theory.  Whatever, I'm really quite sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the very rare Lost in Space Drum n Bass 2000 Album, to which Squarepusher contributed a track, for the simple reason that someone would have informed us of its correct title by now if it were!  No it's got to be some kind of joke.  The piano is eerily familiar as many have commented.  I thought I had the answer the other day, but it turns out that the record i heard was sampling this, not the other way round...
PS  This tune is deceptive -- a lot changes during its course and you could miss out on the fun if you only check out the first 3 minutes...
Now let's dig up the archives.... It all started way back....


Made in 2 Minutes by Bug Kann and the Plastic Jamm on Optimum Dance 1991
I believe that this style of tune is the ancestor of the mid 90s intelligent thing.  Note the ironic title;  a clear boast on the cleverness of the composition.  If you're hardcore and want to follow the thread fully, first check this unusual 4 beat instrumental version (  Or just cut to the chase and check this shit out...  Don't worry i've saved you listening to the shite rapping, this is also instrumental :-)

Atlantis by LTJ Bukem on Good Looking 1992
However, accepted wisdom is that this is the man that started off the whole 'intelligent' thing (a few months later).  There were other players too, such as Doc Scott with his Surgery EP;  but many people would say that Demon's Theme was year zero in the history of jungle, certainly from an 'intelligent' perspective.  Via Horizons, Demon's Theme Part II and the much misunderstood symphony Music (the number of times I've heard this tune without any bass, it's just depressing), Bukem showed us how Dolphin noises and Korg M1 pads were the perfect counterpoint to Amen breaks and reverbed out 808 kicks for bass.
Anyhow, this one happens to be my favourite;  a little hardcore for you!

Warning by Firfox and 4 Tree 1993
Roni Size, showing us how the intelligence in jungle connects with the Jamaican Dancehall which so often ends up cliched in early jungle, especially the more chilled stuff.  But this one is just unique.  Never heard another like it.  Funny, dancey and outrageous, yet deep and warm.

Lord of the Null Lines (Foul Play remix) by Hyper on Experience, Moving Shadow 1993
The original is very interesting because of its happy go lucky nature which turns on the lyric "There's a void where there should be ecstasy".  It's s a comment on the MDA (heavy not like MDMA) pills that were going about at the time -- 'snowballs' -- which Simon Reynolds credits as a component of the darkcore jungle scene.  It seems that H on E weren't in favour of the direction the scene was taking.  However, it's the foul play mix that takes it every time on a dance floor;  though it uses many of the original loops, here is a clear case where subtle structural composition (i.e. 'intelligence') has a massive effect on audience reaction, the thing is structured like a poem or something!

Thru the vibe by Omni Trio on Moving Shadow 1994
Some people were still on one, of course!  This one is too much for me these days, but if only someone did a hiphop remix on that piano...

Jazz Note by Krust on V 1994
Meanwhile... this one shows us how the jazz influences were building up.

Follow your heart by 4 Hero on Reinforced 1994
So, there was this certain moment in time that seemed to drift along for about 18 months in which you could write a track so floaty and chilled and yet get the people groovy merely by engaging the crowd's ever keener ear for the shifting polyrythms simple sliced fresh break salad.  Of the huge number of mostly forgotten tracks in this vein, 4 Hero produced a good few.  And since I've not yet mentioned them, now would be a good time.  I find the best are their more understated offerings...

Basic Principles by Alex Reece on Metalheadz 1994
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, some other cats were cooking up the breaks.  New recipes and combinations of sounds for each hit.  Granted, Pulp Fiction is better, but this is forgotten -- and older (!) -- so I thought I'd put it in for a laugh.  Cheers Nino!
Was this tune the start of two step DnB?  I reckon.

Rings around Saturn by Photek on Science 1995
Hard to know what to say.  My pick of the classic era Photek.  Ni ten ichu ryu is cleverer, incidentally, and a more important piece of music.  I would argue for its status alongside Guernica as one of the most important works of art in the history of everything.  But i prefer rings around saturn.  I remember the first time i heard it...  Metalheadz at Dingwalls about 1997...  Doc Scott on the decks.  Yeah.

Angels Fell by Dillinja on Metalheadz 1995
Stone cold classic.  Alongside Pulp Fiction, this is probably the track which is most frequently cited as DJs favourite metalheadz release.  The drum patterns and bass are remarkable, the louder you play it, the more 'intelligent' it sounds.  Watch your bass bins!

PS  if you want to dance, you'll have to play Nino Kawasaki's sped up 5% version, also on youtube.  If you want to waste (another) evening listening to jungle, you could do worse than checking out the rest of Nino's collection on youtube...

Circles by Adam F on F-Jams 1995
Could have put up Metropolis;  but haven't we had enough Metalheadz already!  Not much to say about this one.  Nino's put up the remix by Adam F which is quite nice to DJ, well, that's a good one for collectors.  Works better on the dance floor, but not as good as the original.  Oh, and Adam F's dad is Alvin Stardust, lol.. that's how he got signed to EMI...

Can't really do a list like this without mentioning Goldie's album Timeless (FFRR 1995).  The most arrogantly and accurately titled album ever, this one they'll be playing when we're all living in pods in some virtual galaxy far in the future.  I won't include any tracks in the list, because the whole album is amazing (stick to the single album UK version, the other one just ain't right, you know it).
Unfortunately, its genius helped kill the intelligent thing by bringing it overground.  So I'll not be including any of the embarassing shit that followed.  Even the high points like Mutant Jazz Revisited by Trace, well there's still something not proper about them.

Spellbound by Tango on Creative Wax 1996
However, I forgive this one for being the best of a bad bunch.

Made ubiquitous by the DJ Kicks compilation of Kruder and Dorfmeister.
It might be worth mentioning at this point that the intelligent thing continued to crop up as a pleasant influence on certain downbeat and triphop and even some real hiphop like DJ Shadow.  Here's an obvious and quite pleasant example:

Speechless (K+D remix) by Count Basic on Studio !K7 1998

So, that was that then.  Well.  Not exactly.
Of course it takes Goldie himself to pop up out of nowhere and produce the occasional piece of genuinely jungley intelligent jungle.  His second album Saturnz Returnz wasn't up to much it's true (although Dragonfly is kind of nice).
Beachdrifta by Rufige Kru on, duh, Metalheadz 2001
Okay, it might be a bit too ruff to be truly 'intelligent', but then that's the Rufige for yer.  Just gorgeous, those strings.  In that battle for lush, no one has ever done it better than Goldie.


As a reward for making it this far, here's Goldie in the studio with Heist...

PS the author would like to point out that

That radio 1 mix for example just isn't good enough for a blog, shurely?  I mean with all that shitty compressed radio sound, arsehole interviews and not enough dynamics in the sub bass and some annoying MCs and stuff?  And I sometimes i just talk shit.  I said Spectrum (Paul's Oakenfold's acid house night back in 88) when I meant the Paradise Club and AWOL and all that, but I was also getting muddled up with Bukem's night Speed which came later and was obviously kinda pivotal for the intelligent thing cluturally.  Oh blah di.  And I can't justify putting the K+D tune in come to think of it, when I've left out so many absolute corkers.  The Box (original mix) by Kemet Crew for example.  Oh well...

mathematical algorithms explain beauty, curiosity.

So this crazy german dude reckons that since your brain (an information-processing device) doesn't want to store every single sensory input it perceives, it uses compression techniques to be simplify the world.  he goes on to suggest that our brain finds things beautiful when it can encode them using as few algorithms as possible - ie highly compressible things.  this is why symmetrical faces are so appealing.

He goes on to say that it makes sense that things which we find interesting are things which don't quite fit with our existing compression algorithms, but that force us to develop new ones - things that you've already decided are beautiful become boring if you keep looking at them, so you begin to look for things that are beautiful in a new way.

And here's a copy of one of his papers on the subject: Simple Algorithmic Principles of Discovery, Subjective Beauty, Selective Attention, Curiosity & Creativity, including evolutionary justifications for all of the above. 

Absolutely lovin' my course, everyone.

Monday, 27 October 2008

Friday, 3 October 2008

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Monday, 8 September 2008

Thanks, Truth Ninja!

Truth Ninja may disagree with the Official Ninja Webpage.

(I did mention Bob the Angry Flower, didn't I? It amuses me, anyway.)

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts

image "Although Cheney himself has never received any Sept. 11 gifts, with the exception of a pair of silk pajamas from his wife and a second term in office, he insisted that he gets more joy from giving than receiving. According to Cheney, Sept. 11 is a time to reflect and give thanks for all the benefits and blessings 9/11 has given him in the past."

Link to the onion article...

mental fruit


someone called Wolfgang whose job is "seed morphologist" explains some of the crazy strategies used by fruit to spread their seeds, using some awesome electron microscope pictures...

Thursday, 28 August 2008

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

for Dave, and any other Portishead fans

In need of a reference, I didimage a quick bout of web-stalking my old Philosophy tutor, Peter Smith, which led to the revelation that he is a committed Portishead fan.  Have a peek at this post on his blog for a link to series of high-quality portishead recordings.

careful you don't stray onto the rest of his blog, and just avoid altogether unless you really didn't have anything important to do today...

Friday, 8 August 2008

Calvin and the chipmunks

in response to ben's post, i'm exposing myself to reprisals from viz (subscribe now!), but here it is:

calvin and the chipmunks med-res

(click the pic!)

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Calvin, no chipmunks

Calvin and Jobs.

Finally! A handy guide to all those Internet Memes you can't be bothered to keep track of. Woo!

Monday, 4 August 2008

Apropos of nothing

It's all a bit Sci-fi...
  • The comp.basilisk FAQ.

  • Page one of Dresden Codak's "Hob" story. (Warning; it isn't finished yet, and he manages about 2 pages a month.)

Everyone's heard of Conservapedia right? Well, they appear to have some Tricky editorial questions...

Uncle Mike's cider festival

image No doubt you're all coming to the GBBF on Friday this week?  but the other major event of the discerning drinker's calendar has to be the annual cider festival at Broome farm in Herefordshire

Clem's uncle Mike runs the "Ross-on-Wye Cider and Perry co" which organises this 3-day festival in his barn. This year it's from the 29th to the 31st of August

 Key items on the agenda:

  • music: folkey, bluesey, barn-dancey. more info here.
  • food: auntie hill's home cooked roast pork with stuffing and apple sauce, sausages baps, veggie curry, etc etc. all incredibly tasty. 
  • cider: aside from uncle mike's, about a dozen Welsh and Herefordian cider makers bring their wares. if you get bored of cider, you can get your taste buds working on some of the perries (cider made from pears? yum yum), and there are a couple of local ales as well.
  • Farmer's market
  • rhubarb thrashing

Aside from that, you can take in the local countryside. Here's a view from the Broome Farm B&B which is run by Clem's aunt Hillary.


Local B&B's are one option for accommodation, but most people choose to camp in the orchard.  come for just one day, or all three! Parking available (in a field).  children and old people welcome.


image  Morris Dancers not guaranteed...

more info here:, and here's a write up of last year's:

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Also, how about some post-democracy?

I think, overall, this guy is probably exaggerating.  but still some interesting viewing:*

and this is a vaguely famous text also, may be worth a read... will let you know if i do!

* video content had quite a cool feature people's comments come up in little popups while the video is playing... neat.  mind you, on the internet you get comments and you get comments...

the feminist film rule:

The Rule by Alison Bechdel.

via charlie stross

can you think of a film that passes?

Monday, 28 July 2008

Clementine concert - august 15th - in London (!)

OK Ben, this might represent a serious abuse of the original purpose of your blog, so let me know if I am getting a slap on the wrist.

Anyways, here's a chance to see the lassie without having to trek all the way to the west country:

"Nick Morris (baritone) and I are doing a repeat of our opera scenes concert in London, on 15th August at the County Hall, London (near the London Eye / Aquarium). We will perform operatic arias and staged duets, including Mozart's La ci darem la mano from Don Giovanni, Rossini's Dunque io son from Barber of Seville, and Bess you is my woman now, from Gershwin's Porgy & Bess.
The concert will be combined with music from a kora player and an Irish violinist! Format tbc, but it should be a fun evening, and for those of you who can't make my Herefordshire concerts a chance to see what I do!!"

imageHere's a pic from the original concert at broome farm.  

It's not all opera though, oh no no. the concert is actually all in aid of a small Herefordshirean pirate called Isis who is financing a trip to Borneo.   Other music on the bill includes a Kora player - that's an obscure type of african harp, like a guitar with about 20 strings, suspect if you ask Dan about it he would be able to bang on about it for ages. 

And the inescapable folk music connection is provided by some chick playing the fiddle, who comes highly recommended from Time Out, l'Ouest-France newspaper and Terry Jones of Monty Python.

All of this set in the London County Hall Debating Chamber, which was last used for a Star Wars exhibition.

It's almost too much to handle isn't it?  Friday August 15th, 7:30 PM, tTickets are £10, available on the door.   And yes, it does clash with the bangface boat party :-(

PS - also, everyone, don't forget the cider festival on 30th & 31st of August!

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Best CAPTCHA evar

This was good enough to make me sign up to the website. Screw you, arts graduates!

Also on the Internet this week; Coen Koans (Zen and The Big Lebowski)

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

stealing george's links....

zombie outbreak hideout no 263:


from the comments:

"According to the Zombie Survival Guide, off shore structures (preferable oil rigs) are the safest place to ride out the Zombie Apocalypse. Zombies can float if they are decomposing but they can't swim or climb ladders. The only way you could be attacked at these structures would be to be swarmed by ten of thousands of zombies on the bottom of the ocean that eventually (chaotically) stack on top of each other to allow access. But that's just crazy because zombies aren't real yet."

and if you haven't been reading georges blog.... well, you should.

and, check out this photo-documentation of a typical festival weather event

click me!

let's hope this year's glade is better

Thursday, 19 June 2008

don't treat me like an object!

this is all over boingboing and the web in general. 


Forget animals or babies, the latest truly fashionable fetish of the moment is being "objectum-sexual".  This can get seriously weird, as when the lady pictured, who is not only in love with the Berlin wall, but also married to it (she says), describes her reaction to the events of 1989:

“When I saw it happen on TV, I closed the door. I felt shocked,” she says, sadly. “I loved my husband when he was in his prime – it took me 10 years until I could love him again after that. I just didn’t know who he was any more. It’s difficult to explain.”

As difficult as the hoff's jacket?  i don't know.  but read more here at, including, obviously, an exposition of the physical aspects of this deviant form of love...

"Winther makes the important distinction that, for OS people, physical union isn’t to be confused with masturbation. “If you masturbate, you see your partner as an object, something only to pleasure you,” she says. “When I have sex with the Berlin Wall, or a model of him, I want to please him too. That’s the big difference.”

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Dumb cops

Note: This is not The Onion

Also, How many sequels?. (Several, it turns out)

For all the aspiring Bishops. (IYKWIM)

Monday, 9 June 2008

freaky walking robot

very annoying buzzing noise... but it's impressively good at not falling over:

from the register's article on recent abominations of science

Friday, 6 June 2008

And one for grand theft auto fans...

Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

Liberty City Cops

Since the surge in crime, which began on April 28 at midnight, more than 830,000 civilians have been murdered—nearly one-tenth of Liberty City's total population. In addition, 35,000 vehicles have been reported stolen, many of which were then driven illegally over sidewalks and pedestrian walkways before plunging into the nearby Humboldt River. And according to startling figures released by local community action group Citizens for a Safer City, drug trafficking has become rampant and prostitution has increased by 800 percent.

"I was shot 14 times on my way to work today, including twice by police," said one Algonquin-area resident. "That is unacceptable."


Was juts remembering this classic site and chuckling to myself....  why not go back and revisit it for such classics as:

  • All the fun of schizophrenia.. in a hat!
  • the world's most harrowing plates
  • the fsck-mammal 3000
  • the world's most dramatically effective baker-infuriating hat
  • and (one for paul) "Goin' Loco!" - the soundtrack to your murderous rampage


I like the way they descend from considered albeit biting satire into full on surreal insanity ("convince imaginary whores your face is a shop... wtf??")



Also, when I become a CEO, I want to be as cool as this guy.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Beware teh evilz

This is presumably trying to sell something, and is therefore bad. Except it's quite cool. (And, if that makes you curious, here are some entirely feasible, but fairly stupid, experiments to do at home!

LOLGRUES (this is of limited appreciability)

Blasphemy now available for OS X

Unusual penetrating brain injuries, presented by Prince (apparently)

etc. etc.

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

helicopters are cool


this one has twin main rotors so the one on the tail POINTS FREAKIN BACKWARDS SO IT CAN GO FASTER!

Saturday, 19 April 2008

Friday, 18 April 2008

Thursday, 10 April 2008

shocker: liz eve as scary electro-clown!


here's the guardian article and lizzie's blog is linked to the right...

we can all see liz and "octopussy" at clockwork on pentonville road this friday...  more info here and here.

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

centrifugal force

this one is really good...

Thursday, 27 March 2008

oh wow. this one is much more hardcore!


Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box

I'm prepared to die for [...] Country

I'm Prepared To Give My Life For This Or Any Country

The truth is, there are a lot of countries, each of which is the most noble cause possible to die for. I only regret that I have but one life to lose for but one country.

I would not hesitate to give my life for or against any other noble nation. Come to think of it, I would even die for a neutral third party caught in the crossfire during a heroic peacekeeping effort, just so long as my death would be in some way related to a country of some kind. That's how committed I am to the concept of nationalism.

the onion delivers the goods as usual.  more like this:

I Support The Occupation Of Iraq, But I Don't Support Our Troops


Thousands More Dead In Continuing Iraq Victory


Suicide Bomber Killed En Route By Car Bomb

Thursday, 20 March 2008

for my next birthday I want a



burninating all the candles...

Monday, 10 March 2008

Monday, 25 February 2008


Laughs in the face of xkcd.

Although possibly not in an actually amusing way. stripey catsuits

so, these guys got together and played a whole game of football with binoculars strapped to their heads, so they had no idea how far away anything was...

... in japan.

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Wherever rave wrongs need to be righted...

There you will find: TECHNO VIKING

Friday, 18 January 2008

Best of Buzzcocks

Just to make sure that absolutely no-one has an excuse for missing this, here follow the absolute best buzzcocks videos.

In reverse order of proper-edge-ness, but correct order of suggested viewing:

no.1 - the rap: (turn up the volume!)

no.2: the destruction derby

no.3-the bank:

more available from

enjoy ya little dafties!

eek! bugs!

image as my american cousins would say. Of course, they're not bugs, they're insects. Horrifying, scary insects.

(thanks George)

Thursday, 17 January 2008



I recommend trailer II :-D

image image

and, can you guess what this is?


demi loves the alien ghost...

from Worth1000 science-fictionize non-scifi films photoshop contest:

this one is also good.


From the same people: Depressing.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

while we're on the subject of Tintin...

Perhaps what's been missing from your tintin experience is the original voiceovers? You see, he was orignially from middlesborough. Little known fact.

username: hjwp. password: tintin

MP3 playing leopardskin protection...


Sunday, 6 January 2008


Amusing webcomic from Joss Whedon. Parts one, two and three.

(I still prefer Scud: The disposable assassin, but that isn't on the Internet, is it? Ahem. Available to borrow, on request...)

Thursday, 3 January 2008

Gonna need a...

Montage! Although I'm not sure if it's criminal or just evil that they fail to include youtube links, or equivalent. Tsk. (Plus you need to select "Sort by montage rating" at the top, to stop the Buffy one coming out top.)

Ever wondered what was really going on in those Star Wars movies? Eh?

Art. Apparently.

A Mythbusters episode your probably shouldn't watch at work. Probably.

And like that Asterix site... but for Tintin. Although Asterix would win in a fight, obviously.

how to destroy an entire day...

on changing one's mind...

thanks tom. everyone should subscribe to the edge. it's never a quick read tho....