You know, I'm sure I checked out this site a couple of years ago, and wasn't that impressed. Thanks to Leila for rekindling the faith
DON'T PANIC BUT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE:
"Professor Brubaker added: "The world is paying the inevitable price for years of unprotected pig sex."
TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS
"Meanwhile economists and art historians last night congratulated Mr Darling for presenting Britain's first ever surrealist budget.
Bill McKay, deputy director of the Tate Modern, said: "None of it makes sense. Not a single word. It was a very brave thing to do."
VERY BIG TERROR PLOT NOT VERY BIG OR TERRIFYING OR A PLOT, ADMIT POLICE
"A spokesman for home secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Embarrassed? No, we're way, way beyond embarrassment at this stage.
"That's a bit like asking a streaker if he's embarrassed because he hasn't shaved."
BRITAIN'S ONLY SHOP MAKES ENORMOUS PROFIT
"Meanwhile The Shop has continued its popular advertising campaign of pretending there are other shops where all the things are more expensive. Emma Bradford, a council worker from Stevenage who spends all her money at The Shop, said: "The Shop is so much cheaper than Asda and Sainsbury's so I'm not surprised they never even existed."
Posts
I'm definitely a fan. This was my favourite one from a while back:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thedailymash.co.uk/animals/animals-headlines/'look-at-the-size-of-this-f%2acking-rat'-say-zoologists-20080105608/
The best quote:
Professor Hayes added: "Ben was like, 'that's a rat, it's totally a rat' and I was going, 'naah, it's some kind of freaky beaver or a weird-looking, fucked-up cat.'"
Those quotes are sooo unfunny. There's funnier stuff said every day in the average office. To be a good satirist is the hardest thing in the world, which is why people can only ever cite The Onion as an example. You need to be able to identify trends and actually be quite wise about them, not just state the bleeding obvious.
ReplyDeleteoo, an anonymous reader - welcome!
ReplyDeleteperhaps the unnovations catalogue would be more to your liking -
http://www.zeppotron.com/unnovations/archive.html