You know, I'm sure I checked out this site a couple of years ago, and wasn't that impressed. Thanks to Leila for rekindling the faith
DON'T PANIC BUT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE:
"Professor Brubaker added: "The world is paying the inevitable price for years of unprotected pig sex."
TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS
"Meanwhile economists and art historians last night congratulated Mr Darling for presenting Britain's first ever surrealist budget.
Bill McKay, deputy director of the Tate Modern, said: "None of it makes sense. Not a single word. It was a very brave thing to do."
VERY BIG TERROR PLOT NOT VERY BIG OR TERRIFYING OR A PLOT, ADMIT POLICE
"A spokesman for home secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Embarrassed? No, we're way, way beyond embarrassment at this stage.
"That's a bit like asking a streaker if he's embarrassed because he hasn't shaved."
BRITAIN'S ONLY SHOP MAKES ENORMOUS PROFIT
"Meanwhile The Shop has continued its popular advertising campaign of pretending there are other shops where all the things are more expensive. Emma Bradford, a council worker from Stevenage who spends all her money at The Shop, said: "The Shop is so much cheaper than Asda and Sainsbury's so I'm not surprised they never even existed."