One Million Points

Pacman in depth, and hilarious twitter bot

2010-11-21T12:37:00.001Z

so, it occurs to me that occasionally some of the super-geeky links that my awesomse super-geeky colleagues turn up may be of interest to other chums. with that in mind, I present the most detailed analysis of pac-man in the world.

Did you know that pac-man corners slightly differently from the ghosts? did you know the ghosts all have different personalities? did you know that some of the intricacies of the timing algorithm of the jail mean that you can theoretically lock the ghosts away for the whole level if you do it right? read on!

http://home.comcast.net/~jpittman2/pacman/pacmandossier.html

and also, some hilarious fellow has devised an AI twitter bot that looks for common global-warming-denial arguments and responds with automated tweet debunks. The best thing about this is that, since the targets are essentially parroting common arguments, they're essentially no better than bots themselve, so they're essentially failing the turing test themselves. Credit to talking philosophy for that thought, more info here.

pictures from germany!

2010-11-12T18:44:00.000Z

from halt! suppenzeit and felix:

kanye vs fourye

myers vs kruger

quake vs gents

Spiderman?

2010-10-02T10:51:00.001+01:00

from http://www.explosm.net/comics/592/. thanks Mike.

also, your wikipedia article of the week is… chaos magic!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_Magic

that’ll teach me to waste a morning on reading about hp lovecraft…

How to make a number 1 single

2010-09-19T18:36:00.002+01:00

the original guide by the KLF, in full:

http://tomrobinson.com/wordpress/?page_id=52

thanks Francis.

from this point it's only 60 ft to the top

2010-09-18T19:40:00.000+01:00

Thanks Max!

Boiling hot?

2010-09-10T19:36:00.000+01:00

neo lebowski

2010-09-09T19:56:00.000+01:00

thanks max

aaaah, small towns

2010-09-01T13:14:00.001+01:00

When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride

New Van Canto Video!

2010-08-31T06:39:00.000+01:00

Sweet. I think Van Canto are pretty much my favourite band.

the more you watch them, the more you think they are AWESOME first and HILARIOUS second. join me....

I'm going to write Dragonforce a letter to see if they'll have the VC supporting them on their next tour. That would be the best concert ever.

geek update

2010-08-21T15:12:00.000+01:00

for anyone who missed this from george: amazing:

http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-cetera/sorting-algorithms-quite-boring-until-you-add-sound-effects-20100819/

and while we're at it,

http://hackedirl.com/2010/08/16/culture-jamming-win-nerd-love/

girls like boys with skills!

2010-08-06T13:54:00.003+01:00

first, some ergonomic advice:

(thanks boingboing)

next, check out the alien-fish that giger ripped off:

thanks felix

and finally:

boingboing

Pictures!

2010-07-13T14:04:00.001+01:00

1/ safe bedisde table:

thanks Dave.

2/ rocket-propelled chainsaw launcher

thanks Felix

Repercussions of evil

2010-07-09T12:59:00.001+01:00

Thanks Felix

art and storytelling

2010-07-07T11:33:00.000+01:00

"Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde":
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-weekly-video-addresses-becoming-increasingl,17649/

and:

Ooh, I have a blog!

2010-05-29T18:32:00.002+01:00

I'd forgotten that.

So, I started reading this short story, and a couple of hours later had read a lot more about rationalism than I expected to. So that was this morning.

Damn "mad scientists"

Anyway then the front fell off. Doh.

LOLcano!

2010-05-12T10:27:00.002+01:00

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/05/03/fun-with-a-banks-sec.html

http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/

weeee!

2010-04-27T08:56:00.000+01:00

Airspace Rebooted from ItoWorld on Vimeo.

would you trust google to tell you which sites are safe?

2010-04-20T15:34:00.001+01:00

result of :

http://www.google.com/safebrowsing/diagnostic?site=google.com/

What is the current listing status for google.com?

This site is not currently listed as suspicious.
Part of this site was listed for suspicious activity 2 time(s) over the past 90 days.

What happened when Google visited this site?

Of the 181401 pages we tested on the site over the past 90 days, 17 page(s) resulted in malicious software being downloaded and installed without user consent. The last time Google visited this site was on 2010-04-19, and the last time suspicious content was found on this site was on 2010-04-18.
Malicious software includes 141 scripting exploit(s), 10 trojan(s), 7 exploit(s).
Malicious software is hosted on 28 domain(s), including monidopo.bee.pl/, shifmant.co.il/, recover888.com/.
20 domain(s) appear to be functioning as intermediaries for distributing malware to visitors of this site, including googleusercontent.com/, mots.go.th/, aliraqnews.net/.
This site was hosted on 5 network(s) including AS15169 (Google Internet Backbone), AS20940 (AKAMAI), AS13867 (CNET).

Has this site acted as an intermediary resulting in further distribution of malware?

Over the past 90 days, google.com appeared to function as an intermediary for the infection of 17 site(s) including zerogradinord.net/, aekcka.googlepages.com/, themeadowblog.com/.

Has this site hosted malware?

Yes, this site has hosted malicious software over the past 90 days. It infected 42 domain(s), including sangalonews.com/, ro777.com/, aviris.com.ua/.

hardehardehar.

AZO

2010-04-15T14:54:00.002+01:00

this guy is now my absolute hero:

also in the news:

extremely long exposition of why star wars 2 sucks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA&feature=channel

mobius bagel slicing:
http://www.georgehart.com/bagel/bagel.html

want!

2010-04-01T10:01:00.001+01:00

"This type of vehicle called in Russian ekranoplan uses so called ground effect - extra lift of large wings when in proximity to the surface. For this reason they have been designed to travel at a maximum of three meters above the sea [...] It is also interesting to note that this aircraft is one of the largest ever built, with a length of 73,8 meters (comparing with 73 of Airbus A380)."

more info here. don't miss page 3 of pictures....

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2010/03/12/ekranoplan/

thanks Felix!

2 comics

2010-03-29T10:27:00.004+01:00

1: I am skeleton jelly (thanks George): http://i.imgur.com/3oboX.jpg
2: Latest XKCD references cereal + booze, so this one's for Dan:

PS: pirate party manifesto

the answer...

2010-03-15T11:36:00.002Z

fucked up south african rap-rave?

check!

(full version ft. 'entertaining' lyrics and a bit more of a stomp-out ending: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0sVdEMg90A )

new predator film directed by robert rodriguez and starring laurence fishburne?

check!

all is well with the world...

videos

2010-03-13T08:49:00.004Z

i was going to post something about the new lady gaga video, but i figured that'd find its way to yall on its own.

instead, watch this:

Denmark introduces harrowing new tourism ads directed by Lars Von Trier

feel free to dally on the site for the baby skulls bit...

also:

http://twitter.com/michaeljordan

thanks George.

google date

and, i really shouldn't have lauged quite so hard at this i think:

and finally, a little political poster:

Vote Pirate, people. It's the only party with any remotely interesting proposals.

(last couple of links from the excellent Halt! Suppenzeit)

Max update:

2010-03-04T01:05:00.002Z

dancing predators: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljEC7HKbP0g

autotune the news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bduQaCRkgg4

the plymouth orchestra: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKH3iemEd-A (warning: capable of reducing adults to tears)

words & beards

2010-02-19T13:29:00.001Z

I gather “Epic Beard Man” is a meme. Here’s the Mortal Kombat version (thanks Dave):

And here are some entertaining word definitions – probably been doing the rounds of email forwards since 1994, but they still made me laugh (thanks Deak). Illegibly, they’re from some Washington Post competition. Kinda Profanosaurus for your mum:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

At first glance this looks like a normal party cup

2010-02-12T15:51:00.003Z

However, if you look close enough you will see that its really a Glock.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84

romantic cryptography

2010-02-11T09:46:00.001Z

http://www.anagram.com/~jcrap/Volume_7/Romance.pdf

Abstract. We show how Alice and Bob can establish whether they love each other, but without the embarrassement of revealing that they do if the other party does not share their feelings.
This is a “secure multiparty computation” of the AND function, where the participants cooperate in producing the result of the AND, but without learning the input bit contributed by the other party unless the result implies it.

Nice illustration involving scales too.

Also:

Hexapods!

Recursive webcast!

and finally, those lyrics to “battery” in full:

including “coming through the fraction, show me to the fashion, coma kill the battery”

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

2010-01-29T16:12:00.002Z

Or something like that.

Also I can't help but think Star Wars would have been better without the dubbing. Possibly.

Working from home? Feel like you're missing out on that vital office culture? Maybe you should join the Pretend office. The inter-office mailing list is a valuable resource. (It's quite realistic...)

Bay 12 please…

2010-01-29T12:45:00.001Z

Ripley goes mental, and who can blame her /

she shoots everything inside, destroying the egg chamber /

after wasting all the ammo, which would be handy later /

she escapes with newt, to the nearest elevator /

thanks F. also:

from failblog

my shopping freedoms curtailed: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/01/28/tesco-store-bans-gro.html

finally, bored builders develop spider-skills on the tape measure:

Up the RSC corner…

2010-01-23T19:09:00.001Z

from http://www.warrenellis.com/… where there is also some talk of this eagerly awaited film.

charlie brooker on a t-mobile ad i haven’t seen.

zombie gingerbread house:

http://www.geekdo.com/thread/474706/last-night-on-earth-gingerbread-house

event horizon song:

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/01/event-horizon-as-an-80s-theme-song

thanks felix for those two. finally, this made me cry with laughter:

http://failblog.org/2010/01/20/mobility-fail/

Overthinking and undercutting

2010-01-13T17:26:00.001Z

Like giving yourself a haircut, only more so

Nakatomi space

That is all

why can these foolish entities not appreciate the joy of melding?

2010-01-11T09:45:00.001Z

massive thanks to Felix for some awesome links over crimbo.

Let us begin.

“The Things” – an arctic story told from a different perspective. Absolutely freakin awesome. 1MP.

http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/ Need i say more?

and finally:

Bumper update!

2009-12-18T11:44:00.001Z

well, in the wake of Ben’s awesome find of competely disturbed meta-manga, i have to make up in quantity when i cannot compete in quality. without further ado, I present:

Super Mario Metal! complete with gay ending!

next: The Tetris God

Obama pills!

http://www.fhm.com/news/funny-stuff/ecstacy-pills-that-look-like-barack-obama-20091208

Sonic vs Pac-man

did you know that pac-man is so called because japanase people, when they eat, don’t go “yum yum” or “miam miam” or anything like that – no, they go “paku-paku”. FACT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grog#In_popular_culture

credit: many of these video game-themed links i came across via the excellent soup.io stream called “we love video games"

man weds anime game character! (guess where?)

Read up on what the correct technique for peeling a banana is. if you need practice, but want to avoid the calories, why not use a banana peeling simulator? more info here, make sure you read the description!.

some fail:

from http://failblog.org/2009/12/16/jump-fail-5/ thanks george

hilarious prank on twitter - you’ll have to scroll down to the first few updates to figure out what’s going on…

and finally, a quote from a friend of mine, who would probably wish to remain anonymous, but that was of such high quality that it should be shared with the rest of the internets:

"I was trying to see which setting to put my fan on without my lenses and it fell on my face , but i was drunk naked and simultaneously eating cheese and crackers so i passed out - woke up to a bruised nose, how many times???"

aaaaah.

Meta-Manga

2009-12-14T17:20:00.002Z

First, Abstraction. That's pretty weird. Then, by the same artist (Shintaro Kago):

Punctures
Multiplication
Blow-Up
The Memories of Others.

A pome

2009-12-10T13:36:00.001Z

a poem by my mum:

As I was sitting there, not thinking very much,

Quite quiet, eyes bemused by the flick’ring picture’s touch,

A spider descended slowly, slowly from its hidden seat

And landed, oh so delicately, between my slippered feet.

                                         --

It was not a very big spider, barely visible at all.

In fact, by domestic standards, it really was quite small

And my poor eyes could barely see the thread

That attached it to the beam above my head.

                                         --

Securely anchored, self absorbed, serenely unaware

That I could be death’s instrument, just for a petty dare,

Randomly exploring the carpet, this arthropod so neat

Turns eight legs, this way and that, between my slippered feet.

                                         --

I looked at the spider and I suppose it looked at me

But exactly where its eyes were, I really could not see.

Then it went back up, drawing in its slender thread ,

Slowly, slowly, no explanation, to its beam above my head.

                                         --

Now my mum’s poems are usually a bit deeper, but this one was so much fun I thought I’d share it with the internets. not bad for someone with english as a second language eh?

meanwhile, here’s a round of the stuff that made me giggle on the onion video:

swine flu prevention tips from cosmo

2009-12-05T15:01:00.001Z

I love the last one in particular. I’m going to be exclusively bumping fists at all the job interviews and business meetings I go to from now on.

in other news: Star Wars status updates! (thanks Felix)

Anathem!

2009-12-01T08:50:00.001Z

finally got me copy of the new Neal Stephenson book, and it is as awesome as you might expect.

meanwhile, here’s a crazy story about going on the lam in the USA, with the whole of the internets chasing you.

Here is the latest episode of “…in Japan”, I think I’ll let the URL speak for itself: http://pinktentacle.com/2009/11/bra-doubles-as-golf-putting-mat/

and finally, a quick plug for three web-based businesses run by people I know. it probably breaks the unspoken terms of service of this site to post them, but its Christmas, could come in useful:

Cider Online – Broome Farm cider
Grannies, Inc – custom beanies knitted by grannies
Watch Me Go – nice affordable watches, including sweet-ass retro casio digital ones. 12% off if you use the code FRIENDSOFWMG at checkout.

[update] and finally, here’s a DJ Cripple old school playlist:

WEEEEEE

2009-11-20T09:38:00.001Z

turn of all the lights, turn up the music, and watch this. we’ll soon find out if you have epilepsy…

Kings of Power 4 Billion % from Zarradeth on Vimeo.

awesome. 40 million points. Thanks George. Also:

Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War

Procrastinators unite!

2009-11-17T12:39:00.001Z

in japan:

in france:

in california, around the time of our [first] conflict with saddam and the i-raqis:

one million points to this website: Halt! Suppenzeit. bewarned, big timewaster: (fundamentally, this guy is just much better than i am at posting stuff at the web. thank goodness ben brings up our average)

and finally, some links with absolutely universal appeal: programmer jokes!

http://limerickdb.com/?top150

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/234075?sort=votes&page=1#sort-top

Paul-itis nut allergy disease

2009-11-08T16:56:00.001Z

Does anyone else suffer from the following problem: whenever any mention is made of nut allergies in normal conversation, a grin appears on your face as you are totally unable to suppress a memory of the following Paul-spawned meme from france ‘99

“because our food is prepared in the same kitchen as our crack production, we must warn our customers that all our food may contain traces of crack”

with an overwhelming urge to just start reeling off the above quote, no matter how inappropriate to the context? perhaps it’s just me. meantime:

crazy text input software for users with no fingers: http://www.inference.phy.cam.ac.uk/dasher/ (David MacKay rocks)
more wacky politicians
you set us up!

another post from the ranting raver

2009-11-06T15:30:00.001Z

off-topic for the blog really, but here’s something chuck had to say of late which i thought may as well be on the intertubes.

“MISTABISHI IS A FRAUD”

In case you haven't heard...
http://forum.breakbeat.co.uk/tm.aspx?m=1971700605
http://dnbforum.com/showthread.php?s=4986c6c83ca5d906abc33ebbde7de351&t=87316
Perhaps you find this amusing. That wasn't my reaction :-( I thought, it's not fucking Mistabishi who is the demon. This shit happens when the scene encourages it. It makes me want to scream:
I FUCKING HATE ALL THE MOTHERFUCKERS WHO HAVE SYSTEMATICALLY KILLED THE UK DANCE MUSIC WHICH IS PART OF MY HERITAGE AS A BRIT AND SOMETHING WHICH I CAN'T STOP LOVING.
THE YOUTH IS FUCKING ARROGANT FUCKING DICKHEADS WITH THEIR BULLSHIT CANT MIX WONT MIX PHILOSOPHY, ACQUIRING RUBBISH EASY COME EASY GO FANS AT THE COST TO THE TRUE HEADZ, THE REAL SHIT. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME DEVISIVELY WEIRD SHIT, JUST UNITY THROUGH DIVERSITY. STOP BICKERING ABOUT HOW ORIGINAL YOUR NON-ORIGINAL NON-DIVERSE SHIT IS AND LEARN TO MIX SO THAT THE MUSIC DOESN'T CONTINUE TO DESCEND INTO SELFISH MINDED NONSENSE WITH NO RELATION TO THE REAL TOGETHERNESS MUSIC WHICH IS 'ARDCORE AND ITS OFFSPRING -- DRUM N BASS AND OTHER HARDCORE BREAKBEAT SCIENCE FROM UK GARAGE TO DUBSTEP TO BREAKCORE. EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF SHARING THE VIBE ON A DANCEFLOOR WHICH IS FULLY CONTROLLED BY THE DJ and MC. THEN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE BEFORE THE ARTFORM IS DEAD.
I'm sick and tired of how modern producers who can't mix are making tunes for people who can't mix which forces the real DJs into the corner when they're trying to construct a set, because no one understands shit about the subtleties of the mix any more. Listen to old tapes by the originators of this sound -- grooverider, ratty, randall, ltj bukem, top buzz, ray keith, dj zinc, kemistry and storm, doc scott, brockie, frank de wulf if you like techno, frankie bones if you like house, i dunno about all the scenes but i know they used to know how to mix across the board, across different bpms. Listen to how the old masters and mistresses used to construct sets, move sideways in the mix as well as up and down. Listen to how the beat flips, changing the emphasis, how you can use this to change people's groove, change people's minds. Listen to the no-compromise people of the modern scene, loxy being a prime example of someone who sticks to his guns. Listen to James Brown for gods sake. Listen to King Tubby.
Basically, what i'm saying is... if you want to mix, then you must learn to mix. If you produce, then take this home go think it through, then go and write proper intros for a change, something inventive, something challenging to yourself and others. And if you really think, "i can beatmatch my CDJs, i know what i'm doing", then you should try some shit that they don't know yet, expand your techniques, learn how to do harsh cuts and slow blends. Learn how to perform the way you want to, but start with a wide palette of colours so that you can select exactly the ones you want, so that you're not pushed about by your limited technique. Learn how to drop a tune from the second breakdown and have it mixing out before the record runs out. Then go and write your outros better. Listen to Foul Play and old Moving Shadow records. Reinforced and Metalheadz, Certificate 18, Philly Blunt, Dread recordings and old V stuff too. And stop fucking double dropping shit 'like Andy C', you wouldn't know the skill of the man in any case, if you need to know, go look at the first five years of his productions and listen keenly... start with "Cool Down" and "Sound Control". Learn to mix that shit, if you can, if you dare. It doesn't mix like do wop be bop shoo be doo bullshit, it requires some skill, but you get amazing combinations of sound if you can handle it, astonishing diversity, and the creative freedom to express something truly personal. That's worth fighting for.
And if you think that i'm just talking about mainstream shit, nah nah nah, all the fucking breakcore artists need to fucking learn their shit too, all the wonk weird dubstep headz, all the fidget house crack business (i don't give a fuck what you call it, it's just some fucking breakbeat house at the end of the day), all the producers of vinyl and DJ recordings need to look at themselves and ask themselves honestly if they actually know shit about mixing, take some responsibility for making the scene better, compose tunes which develop, articulate structure as well as style. Yes, even the underground genres. Even the ones who are better than the shit that dominates, they shouldn't rest on their laurels, but try and raise their game back to the levels which we were used to in the mid 90s. Please. It's not enough to be better than the next man when he just chucked a mix cd on in the club. Don't compare, just raise your game.
Then, if all the fucking youth concentrated for a minute on writing tunes which mixed properly, trend surfers such as Ram Records would step up their production game, tutor their up-coming artists with more integrity, and the whole scene(s) would benefit (i'm including the dubstep scene here, whose shit intros are even shitter than the modern DnB tunes), just like when Ganja Kru pulled up their socks and dragged themselves back from the black hole of pop absurdity in the late 90s with a series of killer releases for the DJ. I admit it was somewhat easier, because at the time, True Playaz weren't carrying any 'apprentices', it was a tight crew. But before then, way back, Zinc was apprentice to Hype, and he wasn't allowed to put out any tunes until his basslines were of the requisite standard; this discipline resulted in Zinc's first release on True Playaz, a moderately successful effort called 'Super Sharp Shooter'. Good shit comes to those that learn their shit and apply their skills correctly. If Ram, Hospital etc want to play the game properly, they should be teaching their youth good habits, not picking up their bad ones, act responsibly. I look forward to decent releases from the likes of Subfocus and other wasted talent. Plus if someone actually supports the development of an artist like Breakage, imagine how good he could be! Not to mention a million fringe producers who idolise Amon Tobin, Squarepusher and their ilk, remember to find a method in your composition of constructing sets, not just a concert of tunes, or we'll be going back to the dark days before James Brown playing for 3 or 4 hours changed the way we dance to music forever, when concerts were dull and intermissions were common, when no one gave a flying fuck about how tunes went from one into the next. I want a better future than that.
THE NEW WAVE OF PRODUCERS, "DJs", and PROMOTERS OF THE 2000s AND BEYOND NEED TO LEARN SOME FUCKING HUMILITY. PLAY YOUR OWN TUNES IN YOUR SET, OF COURSE, BUT MAKE IT A GOOD SET... UNDERSTAND THAT MOST OF THINGS THEY'RE GOING TO TRY HAVE ALREADY BEEN TRIED BEFORE. INVESTIGATE NEW AVENUES OF CREATIVITY WHILST RESPECTING THE CULTURE, THIS SHIT GOES BACK TO METALHEADZ, AWOL, SPEED AND... RAGE... AND THE ILLEGALS OF COURSE... BACK TO PARADISE GARAGE, THE WAREHOUSE OF CHICAGO, THE DAYS OF SOUND SYSTEM IN THE STREET IN KINGSTON, JAMAICA. NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE IT FWD TO SOMETHING NEW, BUT YOU CAN ONLY DO SOMETHING NEW IF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT THE START, RIGHT!

expect normal service of inane links to resume shortly. :)

wine, politics, hacking and a long overdue consumer innovation.

2009-11-05T11:10:00.001Z

what more could you want?

vive la france! vive les bretons!

the important think is – make a plan

2009-10-30T20:44:00.001Z

http://www.astro.ufl.edu/~jybarra/zombieplan.pdf

choice excerpts:

“ZBSD: This term is coined in the context of this exercise as a descriptive term for a variety of similar situations,
the causes and taxonomical delineations of which have yet to be determined by the scientific community.
Hence, the phrase zombie behavior spectrum disorder or ZBSD must not be understood as a scientific or
medical diagnosis; but merely as a descriptive term covering a wide variety of behaviors having
somewhat similar public “event profiles” and public impacts. Note further that as the science of these
events evolves, further disaster planning exercises may be necessary to incorporate specific dynamics of
divergent outbreak etiology and behavior patterns.”

“Part 2 of the exercise will be a discussion of how the overall impact of a zombie outbreak will affect use of
and support for the course management system and will address such issues as: […]

d. The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making;

e. Conversely, the spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may simplify and streamline policy
making resulting in dramatic improvements in administrative responsiveness and service delivery;”

even footnotes!

“8 Lawrence, F. (2007). I Am Legend. In this documentary study of a ZBSD outbreak in New York City and
surrounding areas, Lawrence asserts that the zombies were effectively deterred by garlic. However, it can
be argued that the infected analyzed in Lawrence’s study were not, in fact, zombies at all due to their
conscious hunting behavior, inability to come out during the day, and volitional, fluid movement. Hence,
Lawrence may not be portraying ZBSD at all but part of what may be considered zombie behavior
spectrum disorder; in which some infected not at the “true zombie” part of the spectrum (cf. Schlozman,
op cit. fn 4) may in fact be deterred by the smell or presence of garlic. Once again, however, it is not the
purpose of this disaster preparedness exercise to enter into this scholarly discussion.”

etc etc etc. outstanding stuff

thanks Dave!

2009-10-29T13:43:00.001Z

for my subscription to Viz!

hooray! copyright Viz n that. get your own subscription or summink.

meanwhile, uptown:

Did I mention

2009-10-28T10:57:00.002Z

that my intertubes have been cut off? It's not easy, you know.

Which means I'll just fall back on posting links to Dresden codak:cave man sci-fi! Me go too far!

I cannot think of a subtle way to make a masturbation joke about this guy. (video!)

I have no way of watching the Klingons do Eminem at work, so I need someone else to look and tell me just how execrably bad it is.

(sidenote; if you ever get curious about what the the kids are being told that the kids are listening to...)

Back to work!

this week’s unmissable news:

2009-10-25T14:09:00.001Z

teenage mutant ninja… poodle? (thanks dave).

i don't know what's more impressive. the poodle or the lady behind it and her shirt. more “extreme poodle grooming” (yes, there’s a name for it)

in japan? no, in california. very, very NSFW

do you believe in evil?

skip to 4:16. identified thanks to http://thedansemacabre9.blogspot.com/2007/07/1.html. here’s a link to the orbital gig recordings, in case you’ve missed them…

http://www.mediafire.com/file/zykzxiy22ol/London240909 part 1.mp3

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mwyyl3y34mh/London240909 part 2.mp3

SCIENCE! why the mona lisa’s smile is weird.

recent religious news

and, finally, the solution to the stupidity of youtube comments: FeynTube (thanks George)

have a good week!

no people!

2009-10-19T20:08:00.001+01:00

this is from josh & jo’s blog about their recent crazy mission to vietnam on a train. while they were in china they spotted this street sign which shows you some of the rules which you must obey:

here are some of the ones that struck me (in excel cell notation)

C1 – no wheelchairs? – a bit harsh, surely
C2 – no waving axes around - fair enough.
A3 – no skiing. ok.
C3 – no throwing up. or, possibly, no spotting anything on the floor
D3 – no jumping through the air doing the splits in a Jean-Claude Van Damme stylee
A4 – no being a witch
B4 – no standing under your own raincloud
D4 – no 19th century safari hats
D5 – no people.

J & J are back safely, i believe.

In other news….

hooray for ben’s return!

2009-10-16T19:06:00.001+01:00

here is my effort, paltry in comparison:

carl sagan ‘n bass
insanely impressive singaporean automatic picture generator (thx George)
FHM vs Salvia Divinorum
continuous orgasms – not as fun as it sounds

happy weekend!

Where was I?

2009-10-14T16:22:00.002+01:00

Ah yes, Talking pianos. Clever.

And if you don't have enough SQL in your database, I'm sure corporate finance can fix that.

This is not satire.

heroic little boy…

2009-10-03T09:58:00.001+01:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/little_boy_heroically_shoots

some stuff people i know have posted on facebook:

2009-10-03T09:51:00.001+01:00

for mike: http://www.cesmes.fi/pallo.swf

this is sort of like looba-looba-yey, but worse: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=1047514223313

(and an attempt to imitate it gone wrong, in many ways: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=120554701784)

(now, the question is, is this enough for some evil ai data mining software to figure out who i am?)

the daily mash is bang on

2009-09-29T18:30:00.001+01:00

BANKRUPT BRITAIN FORCED TO GIVE UP WEAPONS IT NEVER NEEDED

Quite an explicitly political article this, and short on jokes (due to excess anger i guess). here’s my favourite bit:

“But defence analyst Julian Cook insisted: "Britain's desire to be a big player on the world stage has delivered huge benefits including being dragged into a series of catastrophic wars with America's throbbing tumescence lodged firmly at the back of our throat, while at the same time being unable to afford decent roads, railways, schools and hospitals. It's what we call a 'win-win'.”

here’s a stick-figure guide to AES encryption. hands up anyone that read the whole thing?

brain machine kit – don’t leave home without it!

and one submission from Dave: dungeons for hire. something to do with d&d board games I think, correct me if i’m wrong?

Rule34(B) continued

2009-09-08T08:37:00.001+01:00

EPIC-METAL-BARBERSHOP

believe.

[update 1] ok, so they use a drum kit… but check out their cover of metallica’s battery (or b’atari as they occasionally pronounce it). even more accomplished capella metal madness. outstanding.

[update 2] oh the giggles on this one just don’t end. check out their wikipedia page, where the band members are listed alongside their “instruments”":

Dennis Schunke (Sly) – lead vocals
Inga Scharf – higher lead vocals
Stefan Schmidt – lower rakkatakka vocals, wahwah solo guitar vocals
Ross Thompson – higher rakkatakka vocals
Ingo Sterzinger (Ike) – lowest dandan vocals
Bastian Emig – drums

Who’s up for (finally) starting the world’s first barbershop-gabber group then? I’ll do the “lower dush-dush dzoing-dzoing vocals”…

Zombi-kleen

2009-09-07T09:47:00.000+01:00

thanks to Mike!

rule 34(B)

2009-09-03T10:59:00.001+01:00

“If you can hear it, there is barbershop of it.”

following on from last month’s rain-based example, here is a conclusive proof case: barbershop Pink Floyd

unfortunately, the search for rule 34(C) – if you can hear it, there is a happy hardcore remix of it – has so far failed to find any example of country-happy-hardcore :(

(cotton eye joe is not sufficiently authentic)

also: get ready for the US’s fully deniable laser weapons

snape kills dumbledore

2009-08-26T23:12:00.001+01:00

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty! – more classic amazon reviews.

one for the guitars-n-words fans (Dan…) make sure you watch the vid. i was impressed. then read carr & co’s futurephobic moaning…

Beardyman vs soca vs…

2009-08-23T14:47:00.001+01:00

1 million points to the first person to identify the song beardyman is covering (using just his beatboxing skills incidentally, no real instruments) in the comments…

Maths is fun part 2

2009-08-22T10:41:00.001+01:00

xkcd: newton and leibniz

ahaha, yeah. the highest form of with i tells ya.

here’s your thought for the day from stephen pinker in case you feel in need of something else…

“Many intellectuals try to get their ethics on the cheap–by spin-doctoring or even fabricating scientific conclusions so that a morally desirable conclusion falls out of the facts, rather than being justified by a moral argument. They insist that all humans must be biologically equivalent, so that discrimination can be irrational, as opposed to immoral. They insist that humans must be inherently unselfish, honest, and peaceable, so that moral behavior is what comes naturally, rather than something we must strive for and encourage. They insist that behavior is mysterious and inexplicable, so that people cannot use biology as an excuse for their bad behavior–instead of separating explanations of behavior from exculpations of behavior. These confusions are bad for science, because they encourage people to promulgate comforting falsehoods, and bad for ethics, because they root moral positions in empirical claims which could turn out to be false, thereby jeopardizing the very positions they should be making rock-solid.”

a familiar thought to anyone that’s read his books no doubt, but concisely expressed here. shame the interviewer can’t spell behaviour.

ps – read chris’s latest post.

Maths is fun

2009-08-18T17:04:00.001+01:00

if I don’t blog this now, the other 2 readers will no doubt tell me to do so. So, in case you haven’t seen it yet, and even if you have, I’d like to refer you to the original paper:

Munz, Hudea, Imad, Smith? (2009) “When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection” [pdf] by Philip Munz, Ioan Hudea, Joe Imad and Robert J, Smith. In “Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress,” eds. J.M. Tchuenche and C. Chiyaka, Nova Science Publishers, Inc. pp. 133-150, 2009. Available from http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

battle toads!

2009-08-15T12:04:00.001+01:00

“"The thing you must always remember about the American right wing is that they are basically the baddies in a film.""

No Title

2009-08-01T13:01:00.001+01:00

Techno Trading Estate

As You Can See From My Name-Brand Clothing, I Am Not Poor

and this i don’t really get. but its cool anyhows.

Your mum

2009-07-22T23:58:00.001+01:00

Daily Mash: Concerns grow over lack of panic

2009-07-22T13:37:00.001+01:00

excellent satire of the media & governmental furore over swine flu:

“But despite their all-out efforts, millions of people across the country have decided to simply wash their hands twice a day and accept that if they do get swine flu the chances of them dying from it are so small as to be really quite tedious.
Nevertheless the department of health will today urge people to empty their freezers, stressing that is where they will have to store their grandmother until the army can collect her and throw her into a landfill.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/concern-grows-over-lack-of-panic-200907201915/

more funny:

ULRIKA BATHING IN VIRGINS' BLOOD, SAY VILLAGERS

silence young one…

2009-07-19T21:34:00.001+01:00

from Apokalyps

JAPAN NOODLE POWER!!!!

2009-07-17T13:47:00.001+01:00

see, it could be a series of different adds spliced together and then given a new soundtrack. a bit like cillit bang! but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was actually just the actual add, as broadcast on tv…

YEEEEEAAAAAAH!

2009-07-16T09:41:00.001+01:00

the fucking moon

2009-07-14T10:59:00.001+01:00

Moon special!

“Radio Tre” here in Italy was transmitting some of the original moon landing broadcasts (complete with live italian translation). it made me a little emotional, call me cheesy.

Anyways, in celebration of the most awesome achievement of humanity, here is a part one of a 1mp moon special.

more to come!

1 million points

2009-07-10T07:03:00.002+01:00

minus whatever the penalty is for when your cunning plan goes awry:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/5736633/Spanish-police-thwart-jail-break-using-remote-controlled-Zeppelin.html

converting human stupidity into charity £££s

2009-07-09T23:32:00.001+01:00

http://twitter.co.uk/

speaking of worthy causes, clem’s friend started a business. check it out:

http://www.granniesinc.co.uk/

and then check out some charlie brooker. i’ve said it before chuck really, really creases me up.

the 10 biggest c**ks in advertising

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=videos&search_query=charlie+brooker&search_sort=video_avg_rating

Still no aliens angle, sadly

2009-07-06T23:12:00.003+01:00

Real life vs. The Onion. (Spoiler: Real life wins)

(And I lied about the lack of Alien links.)

funnies

2009-07-06T21:39:00.001+01:00

from http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=26

from http://imgur.com/qzDgC.jpg

and this vid

you may need to google “mother lover” if the vid don’t work. that is JT.

Worried about the impending technological singularity?

2009-07-06T15:16:00.001+01:00

Read Jaron Larnier’s excellent debunking. But don’t watch the video, it makes you want to punch him in the face. I bet all his colleagues really hate him.

Still his prose, and his points, are good. You’ll need to scroll down a bit until it starts – it’s called “one half of a manifesto”

http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/lanier/lanier_index.html

Don’t know what I’m talking about? here’s “info” on the singularity.

Faith-off

2009-07-05T15:44:00.001+01:00

“A new game show on Turkish television will pit a Greek Orthodox priest, a rabbi, an imam and a Buddhist monk against one another in attempt to convert atheists to their respective religions.”

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/tv/story/2009/07/03/turkey-gameshow-religion-atheists.html

I wanna watch it!

Kant for dummies – the “green sunglasses” explanation

2009-07-04T16:27:00.001+01:00

Apologies to everyone for the self-indulgence, but i wrote this for my course and thought I’d share it with the internets. I promise it’s back to Hello Kitty vibrators and suchlike asap.

I looked around to find a nice summary of kant's metaphysics but couldn't, so I thought I'd summarise them for ya's:

Kant in a nutshell:

Here's my favourite way of explaining his insight: imagine if everyone on earth wore green-tinted sunglasses, all the time. To them, everything would look green. In fact, if they didn't know they were wearing sunglasses, and if they had absolutely no way of taking them off, then as far as they were concerned, the world would be, objectively, green.

As it might be with green sunglasses, says Kant, so it is that our brains impose certain things on the way we perceive the world. Things like space, time, logic and mathematics... And in fact, it's impossible to conceive of an outside world that's truly independent of the way we perceive it - just as no-one in the green sunglasses world would be able to conceive of a non-green colour.

Without getting into too much techie detail, the question he was seeking to answer with this was "how is it that we know some things about the world to be true, without requiring evidence?" These things, what K. called "synthetic a priori-propositions", are non-trivial bits of knowledge like:

all of maths & geometry

"every event has a cause"

the rules of logic

and so on... Nowadays, we can question some of the above - it's far from clear, for example, that every event has a cause, or exactly what "cause" means...

But the fundamental insight that our objective reality is partially constructed by the ways that our brain perceives the world is a strong one. There's no such thing as colour, except insofar as we perceive it, for example... what else might be like this, we wonder? Might we one day meet aliens that don't agree with us about Maths?

Here's where it might get relevant to AI - an artificial intelligence has a different type of brain to ours. They will therefore perceive the world in a different way to us... Could it be radically different? Or does the fact that AI's will have been (presumably) have been in some way constructed using our human assumptions such as maths and logic, mean that they will share most of the fundamental basis of perception with us?

Here's where it might get relevant to AI - an artificial intelligence has a different type of brain to ours. They will therefore perceive the world in a fundamentally different way to us... Could it be radically different? Or does the fact that AI's will have been (presumably) have been in some way constructed using our human assumptions such as maths and logic, mean that they will share most of the fundamental basis of perception with us?

Suggestions for improvement on the above are welcome, as are any challenges that I’m misrepresenting the big K. My memory if undegraduate days is pretty hazy…

weekly round-up

2009-07-04T13:01:00.001+01:00

gross defence mechanism
free speech still OK in UK (ft weird obsession with cutting legs off )
all the fun of role-playing games without the hassle
homeopathic A&E

thanks george, dave, george and cory doctorow, respectively.

Excerpt from Transformers 2 review

2009-06-19T11:21:00.001+01:00

“It’s like watching a blender for two hours while someone shouts at you. And then the last half an hour is the same, except it’s more like having your head strapped to a washing machine while you watch a blender and someone shouts at you. And you really need to piss. Still, wicked fun.”

awesome… link

Predator Rap

2009-06-16T18:33:00.001+01:00

Need I say more?

tuneage!

2009-06-13T18:30:00.001+01:00

thx to george for pointing me towards Ragtime Eminem – oh it works, oh yes.

Also DJ Rainbow Ejaculation played at bangface yesterday, george described him as “maybe Shitmat's more hyperactive work crossed with Cassetteboy”. He has an awesomely upsetting homepage, and has a free mix available for download,. I’ve only skimmed thru it so far, but cotton eye joe and now is the time occur within 5 minutes. so it can only be good

Old school graffiti

2009-06-12T14:40:00.001+01:00

http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm

thx george.

Doom 2D

2009-06-12T13:01:00.001+01:00

Sweet!

http://www.fhm.com/online-games/shooting/doom-2d-20090608

i haven’t seen it

2009-06-12T06:49:00.001+01:00

but people say it’s poor. anyone for more though?

the first true portable computer

2009-06-11T10:48:00.001+01:00

I just love the register’s style…

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/05/tob_minuteman_1/

“Sputnik's SS-6 rocket demonstrated that the Soviets had a launcher capable of hitting a target from thousands of miles away. A few years earlier, the government had detonated its first H-bomb. Add two and two together, and you get four horsemen of the apocalypse taking an American vacation.

Arise the threat of a US "missile gap." America promptly decided to dial its languishing ballistic missile program to eleven. They had called first dibs on the annihilation of humanity, after all.”

turns out luna-c is quite good at skateboarding

2009-06-04T11:47:00.001+01:00

who’d a thunk?

Amortised superhero futures

2009-05-28T17:11:00.002+01:00

The clear solution to this one. (More of that sort of cutting edge analysis.)

Of course, that pales in comparison to this lot. This did annoy me when I saw the film. (Although they're not nearly as clever as they think they are. Includes suspicious
Grand Unified theory of Schwarzenegger.)

George’s snowclone search is the new black

2009-05-26T17:58:00.001+01:00

these are most definitely the URL you are looking for:

http://snowcloned.gbmvdd.net/

all your snowclone are belong to that site. in soviet george, snowclone searches you. etc etc.

Corporate Anthems part 3 – Russian energy monopolies.

2009-05-25T16:14:00.001+01:00

“Let's drink to you, let's drink to us
Let's drink to all the Russian gas
For those extracting the new sun
From down beneath the ground”

Thanks to Chris M.

Frequently asked questions:

2009-05-23T18:18:00.001+01:00

The official God FAQ

Put your ipod touch to better use…

2009-05-22T15:54:00.001+01:00

By strapping it to a US army sniper rifle, and using it as a ballistics calculator:

Oh yes. from Jungle Dave via The Firearm Blog. The makers claim it’s in use on the battlefields in Irag and fanistan.

need an awesome t-shirt?

2009-05-21T22:56:00.001+01:00

this one has many (many many) good reviews on amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY

Write to some companies!

2009-05-11T00:58:00.001+01:00

this guy does!: http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php

The New Adventures of Sigmund Freud

2009-05-10T21:15:00.002+01:00

That is all

have you been keeping up with your internet meme?

2009-05-09T17:27:00.001+01:00

I haven’t

Need to spend more time on 4chan apparently.

The Daily Mash

2009-04-28T14:48:00.001+01:00

You know, I'm sure I checked out this site a couple of years ago, and wasn't that impressed. Thanks to Leila for rekindling the faith

DON'T PANIC BUT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE:

"Professor Brubaker added: "The world is paying the inevitable price for years of unprotected pig sex."

TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS

"Meanwhile economists and art historians last night congratulated Mr Darling for presenting Britain's first ever surrealist budget.
Bill McKay, deputy director of the Tate Modern, said: "None of it makes sense. Not a single word. It was a very brave thing to do."

VERY BIG TERROR PLOT NOT VERY BIG OR TERRIFYING OR A PLOT, ADMIT POLICE

"A spokesman for home secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Embarrassed? No, we're way, way beyond embarrassment at this stage.
"That's a bit like asking a streaker if he's embarrassed because he hasn't shaved."

BRITAIN'S ONLY SHOP MAKES ENORMOUS PROFIT

"Meanwhile The Shop has continued its popular advertising campaign of pretending there are other shops where all the things are more expensive. Emma Bradford, a council worker from Stevenage who spends all her money at The Shop, said: "The Shop is so much cheaper than Asda and Sainsbury's so I'm not surprised they never even existed."

"Russian hairdresser turns stickup merchant into sex slave"

2009-04-21T14:05:00.001+01:00

from The Register

Fox's finest

2009-04-14T19:56:00.003+01:00

Wouldn't play it at a wedding, but this is quite catchy. (For the curious, the original)

Also it seems we didn't take the hint, and trouble may ensue.

Occasionally a Dilbert is good enough for the blog:

2009-04-05T16:40:00.001+01:00

click to zoom in.

"like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being". Classic.

Child Predator Hands

2009-04-02T13:25:00.002+01:00

I have no idea wether or not this is disappointing

And if Harry can post links to crazy* physics papers, then so can I.

(* in this case, that should be read "kerayzeee")